


The Dark to her Light

by mentalriot



Category: Star Wars, The Last Jedi
Genre: F/M, Gen, gotta get my feelings out
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-20
Updated: 2018-06-17
Packaged: 2019-02-17 06:51:32
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 15
Words: 13,512
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13071432
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mentalriot/pseuds/mentalriot
Summary: The already conflicted Rey struggles with her emotions about Kylo, Luke and contemplates what she'll do next.(I just have a lot of Star Wars (specifically Rey and Kylo!) related feelings and had to get some of them out. It's been awhile since I've written and I'm stoked to start again.)





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I'm definitely craving more after seeing the Last Jedi, specifically in terms of Kylo and Rey. I wanted to add my own two cents in since I have thoughts that are going around and around in my head. This might develop into something a bit longer, but ultimately I wanted to give my take on how Rey is coping with her feelings about Kylo and vice versa. I've been reading a ton of amazing fanfics on this so I feel like I'll keep it short and leave the wonderful story telling up to some of them! The first chapter is super short, the rest will be a bit longer. ^.^

Rey sat still, looking up into the unforgiving, heavy sky. The past was a growing plague on her mind that she couldn’t quite shake. All of the events that had unfolded over the past few months were gnawing at her. She had never been one who had experienced inner peace; her life had been a sort of complacent turmoil from the very beginning. She was never in the center of her own storm; simply far enough to feel the fury of the winds but not close enough to get swept away. And now… this.

She had felt Luke’s death, but his absence had not hurt as badly as his distant presence had. All of her life she had heard about the Master Jedi, the legendary Luke Skywalker. She craved that figure, imagined a scenario that had never come full circle. Her time on Ach-to had not been what she had expected. In her mind she still could almost see what she had longed for- a father, a friend- someone who could help her. Someone who could understand her. She could almost see them training together, her skills developing.

But no, that was just a dream. In her mind Rey felt she didn’t have what it took to be a Jedi. She was impulsive, she was angry. All of her passion felt misdirected and she felt out of control. It hadn’t gone unnoticed. People on the rebel base, including her friends, could see the shadow that swept over her. Rey had never been one for small talk and had never been terribly social. But she had a spirit, a mission, that kept her going. Her loneliness was briefly lifted when she met her friends, especially Finn. She loved his humor, and his kind nature, despite herself. He had once commented that no one had looked at him like she did, but he didn’t know she felt the same way.

Until now. It’s interesting, she thought, how her loneliness had intensified after connecting with one so unexpected. She had never connected with anyone. Emptiness had filled her life and her loneliness had defined it. She was always waiting, scrubbing parts she had scavenged. Those days were filled with glistening sweat and physical exhaustion. She had always considered herself so strong, and it’s true that she was. But her strength was a wall guarding the pain that she tried to hide. Never would she had thought that her loneliness, her emptiness would be temporarily lifted and torn away so quickly by the man (if you could call him that) who she feared the most.

Kylo Ren.

_Ben._


	2. Chapter 2

Indistinct chatter and small conversations invaded the closed trap that is Rey’s mind. She lifted her head, her eyes tired and heavy, to look around her. Despite their losing odds and their lost friends, the rebels were upbeat and humorous. Rey’s awkwardness was rather apparent to anyone who approached her, but it was easily forgiven. She’d like to think that forgiveness came from those who had seen her true character, not just from the fact that she had everyone by ‘lifting pebbles’. She had almost broken into tears at that moment, thrilled at the feeling of power. All of her life she had felt helpless and stuck, but now… now she could harness the Force. She could harness power that she had never dreamed of.

Everything had happened so fast. One day she was a scavenger, a nothing. And now…

If she thought about it too much she would go in stressful circles, wondering why she deserved this power and longing for her parents. Longing for someone who seemed to understand her.

“Rey!” Her eyes shot up as Finn walked over and put his hand on her shoulder, bringing a smile to herface. Finn had turned out to be a true friend, probably her first ever. Something had changed in their friendship recently, but she thought it was for the better. His eyes, which used to look at her longingly and full of a passion she once wouldn’t be able to describe, looked at her with a genuine fondness. She was very fond of him as well, and appreciated the platonic nature of it.

“How are you?” She asked warmly. She may have issues relating to people around her and she’s definitely a loner, but she needs her companions.

Finn shrugged with a big, goofy grin on his face. His eyes were alive, dancing as they looked at hers. Rey might be a social misfit who grew up alone, but she knew that expression.

“So how did last night go with Rose?” His face grew more alive as she asked this question, his grin growing larger.

“Oh, it was nice.” He kept grinning. “Well, more than nice. She’s nice. She’s nice to talk to.” Rey kept smiling but put her face down slightly. Finn noticed she couldn’t quite hide the slumping of her body.

“You okay?” “Oh, fine.” She answered. He kept studying her, unconvinced by her words. “Tired.” She added quickly. “I haven’t been sleeping very well.” She found opening up to him easier than before and welcomed his presence. But even here, even with their friendship, she still couldn’t tell him the truth. The truth about Kylo, about the Force Connection.

Finn nodded sympathetically, his smile fading. “None of us have. The First Order is hunting the Resistance down. Any word of support or sympathy for the Resistance is wiped out quickly.” He shuddered a bit. “I had some experience with Kylo Ren in the First Order, but not much. He’s powerful, but not as controlled as many leaders are. He doesn’t act according to plan, he acts on his rage. After being tricked by Luke he’s furious. I could tell you that before we got the reports from our spies.” He smiled a bit again as he referred to the Resistance spies as ‘our’ spies. It had taken him awhile to adjust to being part of something he was trained to hate.

“Rey? You listening?”

Her face had twisted into an unreadable expression as Finn had been speaking. Her eyes were blazing as they met with his. Ben… Kylo. She felt adrenaline and fear wash over her. She saw him and he could see her.

Was he really there? She wondered. Her body had gone cold and her fingers were bone white as they gripped the table in front of her. She started to lift her body up, her gaze unwavering.

He turned to face her but then, just as quickly as he appeared, he seemed to vanish.

“I have to go.” The words came out as a whisper. She stood up and left as quickly as she could while maintaining her composure, leaving Finn speechless. Her mind was racing and panicked. The door shut behind her as she collapsed into her bed.

Kylo had appeared to her a few times since the events unfolded on Crait. The Force Connection should have faded after Kylo had killed Snoke, but it didn’t. It wasn’t as strong as it was before, but it was still there. She hadn’t learned to control it and couldn’t tell anyone about it. What if he could see her surroundings? What if she inadvertently gave away the location of the rebel base?

Warm tears fell down her face, compiled droplets of stress, frustration, fear and sadness. Guilt was holding her chest, compressing her breath. She didn’t know if she could sever the connection. She didn’t know if she could stop it.

She didn’t want to try.


	3. Chapter 3

Rey sat on the bed, reminiscing. She didn’t have the energy to get up, even to train. Her life felt broken down. She ran her eyes over her quarters; small and simple and so much more than she’d ever had before. It was hard to believe food and shelter were provided for her, and she was grateful for what she had gained. She sighed and rolled onto her side, looking into the plain walls beside her.

Rey had never really been anything to anybody. She had always felt like nothing. She was abandoned and forgotten by those who should love her the most. Life was rough- she got in fights almost daily and would starve for days at a time if the storms were bad enough. Being a scavenger meant living desperately from day to day. There were slavers that wanted her for her appearance and skills, but she had learned to defend and guard herself against them. She grinned slightly, remembering how they’d try to take her. They met with the heavy end of her staff, bleeding and bruised.

 She had settled into a ‘nice’ corner on Jakku, where no one gave a damn about taking her as a slave, only milking her for parts. What was the point of getting away from the slavers? Her entire life felt like slavery.

Finn and the Resistance gave her an offer of belonging like she had never felt before. For the first time, someone cared about Rey. Rey had a purpose; one that was more than she could have imagined. The hope and optimism that she felt, even alongside of her reluctance, was revitalizing. Her and Finn were so different, but she had gravitated towards him. Leia was so kind to her, so understanding. The mother she never had; the family she craved.

But Kylo had changed things for her.

Her relationships with her friends had become so small compared to the few moments when she felt connected to him. The worlds around them, all that was at stake in the battles, good and evil, light and dark, First Order and Resistance…. All of it ceased to exist in her mind for a few blissful moments. It was unlike anything she’d ever felt for another creature; it was terrifying and beautiful. Her life had been filled with an aching emptiness, a loneliness she could not escape from. When they spoke through the Force Connection, when they touched, that emptiness faded for the first time.

Rey had always been nothing. He told her that. He said it, cruelly perhaps, eyes blazing as he looked at her.

_You’re nothing._

_But not to me._

The memory of him saying those words overwhelmed her and more tears started flowing out. She dug her face into a blanket, ashamed to be thinking about the _creature_ who had killed his own father. Ashamed to be craving his presence. Ashamed that she had almost faltered from her own path- for him.

She sighed and sat up, gazing to the wall. It felt like all of these conflicting experiences were testing her. Rey used to know who she was. No. She still knew. She was still Rey.

_My determination to save Ben was to draw him to the light, not a selfish act in order to have a companion._ She repeated this over and over again, trying to convince herself that she had done the right thing. She should have expected to be bound and taken to his master. She wanted him to take her restraints off, to touch her in a world that was more real than their Force Bond. She wanted _his_ emotional restraints taken off; his blanket of darkness to be removed. She wished, with all of her heart, that he wanted the same thing.

_No._

Her eyes focused sharply on the face that was in front of her door. Kylo was in her room, studying her. Every muscle in her body tensed up as she looked into his face. His face was impassive, looking back into her eyes. Had he been sitting there long?

“Why are you here?” she asked, slowly standing up, bracing her body.

“You tell me.” He responded simply. He didn’t move. “Apparently we are going to continue to have these… moments.” He looked around, trying to see her quarters- trying to get a glimpse of the Resistance. Her heart sank as she noticed and rage bubbled to the surface of her mind.

“So you’re using me. Again.” She stood up completely, taking a few steps towards him. “You’re going to try to manipulate my mind, to wipe out the rest of us. Are you going to torture me again as well?” She searched his face, desperate to see a flicker of emotion break on his face or a change in his dark eyes. Despair kept crawling as she realized she saw nothing.

He took a step towards her, not breaking eye contact. “I gave you a chance. A chance to become something more. A chance to balance the galaxy. A chance,” he paused, taking another step. “to be by my side. You refused, and you will be destroyed, along with the rest of the remnants of your pathetic Resistance.”

His words were cruel enough to cause a certain pain to ripple through Rey’s chest, but she sensed something else. Was it conflict? It swept through him, perhaps a bit hidden from her, when he mentioned her being by his side. Rey kept her face strong and looked into him, losing the fear and anger she had before. His face and tone conveyed the hate and rage that had consumed him. But there was something else there.

She opened her mouth to say something but as he took another step towards her he vanished. She felt her face flush with emotion as the anger, fear and confusion rushed back to her head. She had made a mistake; he felt her fear. He felt her conflict. She had to learn to guard her mind against him, to block her thoughts. It wasn’t as easy now; she didn’t want to. She couldn’t feel into his mind like she used to be able to, but she felt one thing during that sweep of emotion.

He was lonely too.


	4. Chapter 4

Kylo Ren pressed his fingers together as he contemplated the moment that had unfolded before him and sighed. He had seen glimpses of Rey since their last meeting, but none as strong as what they had experienced before. None were as strong as what they experienced just now. Frustration crept up his body until he could feel every muscle tense up.

Killing Han Solo should have resolved this conflict inside of him. He was being torn apart, his very identity and being struggled in agony every moment. His strength came out as he rose to meet his true fate.  

His strength also faltered. Faltered when he failed to kill his mother. Faltered when he thought about the scavenger.

Rey.

Vivid memories of her sprang up in his troubled mind more often than he would have hoped. It’s hard to believe that he didn’t know of her until recently; it now felt like they had been connected for a lifetime. Oh, that moment when he first saw her face on Takodana. Even if he wasn’t strong with the Force, the fear radiated out of her, her eyes as frightened as a small child. Kylo Ren, who often felt powerless due to his own conflicts, loved having power over others. Fear was an addictive sort of power.

But Kylo also noticed _her_. He saw the structure of her face; the angular, symmetric beauty of it. The expressive eyes that told a thousand stories of loneliness, struggle, and victory. The curve of her lips, proud and fierce. The muscular but slim body that had developed in response to a rugged, struggle of a scavenger life. Deeper than any of that, he could see something in her. He has felt strength, loneliness and passion in many others that he’s slaughtered. He has seen attractive women that meant nothing at all to him, but the connection he felt with her was intense. He enjoyed toying with her, paralyzing her.

He even enjoyed torturing her, pulling her mind apart. However, though he told himself he was prepared to, he was hesitant to take the torture further. He was angry at her for not giving him what he wanted, for assisting Han Solo and for joining the Resistance. He knew now that his anger, the pleasure he took in controlling her, was due to the loss of control he immediately felt in himself when he was around her. He despised that connection, that feeling of lust; even the feeling that she was simply a reflection of who he was. He despised the empathy he felt when he looked into her terrified eyes.

He knew, from the moment she opened her eyes on his ship and saw him watching her, that he wanted her. He wanted her to give herself to him, to capture her loyalty. But she had done more than deny him; she had resisted him completely. He felt anger, remembering this moment, remembering his humiliation.

It doesn’t matter now. Soon she will be destroyed, along with the Resistance. The First Order had spies everywhere, and the Resistance was not careful enough. They were on a small moon, not too far from the First Order’s fleet. They wouldn’t stay there long. Kylo had sat in on a meeting about simply biding their time and blasting them when they tried to fly away. After all, their numbers were few and their ships were small.

Kylo had objected, much to the distaste of General Hux.

“The Resistance has made a mockery of us for far too long. We cannot continue to prolong the inevitable.” Hux bellowed. “Simply wipe them out and be done with it. Sympathizers are few and far in between, but they will grow if the Resistance continues to have influence.”

Kylo waved the idea away and stood up. “Simply being shot out of the sky is too good for these traitors. We need to make an example out of them.” He rounded on Hux, letting his anger and contempt drip from him. “We will destroy them. And we will destroy them slowly, so that the galaxy sees their fate if they join the Resistance.”

Hux snorted. “Will your mother magically escape the carnage, as she did before? You”-  He didn’t get a chance to finish before he started choking. He clawed at his throat, his eyes bulging, looking at Kylo with desperation.

“If you ever accuse me of sympathizing with these rebels again it will be the last time you speak.” Kylo looked him in the eyes. He enjoyed this, watching General Hux squirm. He couldn’t fathom why the Supreme Leader had kept him around for so long, but he had to admit that Hux was useful. However, he didn’t want Hux to get the idea that he wasn’t just as disposable as everyone else. Hux fell to the ground as Kylo released the hold.

“I will deal with the Resistance. We will capture them as soon as they take off and we will make them regret every part of their miserable lives.” Kylo’s eyes swept around the room, daring anyone to object. Without another word, he turned and walked away.

Now he sat in his quarters, contemplating the move.

_The scavenger._ Familiar rage rose through him as he thought about her. He would take her himself. He would show her his true power, and he would corner her.

_She will join me. Or I will destroy her._

_If I don’t destroy her, she will destroy me._

_She is tearing me apart._

He sat, glancing out the window into the emptiness of space. Never had space seemed so cold, so heavy. The stars around him seemed to dim as the rage dripped out of him, slowly draining his conviction. That ache was back- the ache that came when he thought about her. He dreamt about running away with her, taking her in his arms, making her his equal. He woke up feeling pain that crept through his body, reminding him that she had denied him.

The First Order would be descending on the Resistance base soon. No, he didn’t want them shot out of the sky. He didn’t want _her_ shot out of the sky. He laid in his bed, trying to swallow the pain that came along with that thought.


	5. Chapter 5

Rey’s eyes shot open as she swung her legs over her bed, landing with a wobble, barely maintaining her balance. Something was wrong. She felt him. Conflict. Violence.

The First Order.

She shot out of her quarters, disheveled and panicked, running to find Leia. Their base was small, adequate for the handful of active Resistance members who had stuck around. Leia would be around, but she didn’t expect to bowl the poor woman over.

Rey reached down grasped Leia’s hand, pulling her up. “Leia,” Rey started to stammer, the jumbled words desperately pouring out. “Kyl- the First Order. They…”

“-Are coming here.” Leia responded, letting go of Rey’s hand as she balanced. “I know. I felt it and we have scouts out now. We are planning our next move right now. We need to go.”

Rey nodded, studying Leia’s face. Leia’s eyes were tired, unfocused. It occurred to Rey, very suddenly, that Leia must be going through just as hard of a time as Rey, if not harder. Her son was leading the First Order. Her son had killed Han Solo, his father.

Her son was trying to kill her. Rey’s heart leapt with sympathy, making her pause. She gently reached out again, putting her hand on Leia’s shoulder. Leia smiled, and gently touched Rey’s face, absorbing the smoothness, the strength of it.

“It’s okay.” Leia said. “Let’s focus on leaving.”

Rey pulled back. “We should get everyone on the Falcon.”

Leia hesitated, and then nodded as a Resistance Scout walked up. “The First Order has an entire fleet that just came out of light speed.”

“Enough to take down the Falcon. We’ll need to speak to Poe, see what tricks we can use.” She turned to walk away when the scout interrupted her with an air of impatience. “There are several small ships approaching us from the fleet. They know our location.”

Leia cursed. “Everyone to the Falcon, now!”

A roar penetrated the quiet sky as everyone’s head swerved up, straining to see the ships that were quickly becoming visible. People were carrying supplies to the Falcon, trying to gather their troops, but it was too late. Anyone approaching the area could feel the urgency in the air, threatening to break everyone into panic.

Rey felt him. Kylo Ren was on those ships. She tried to do what she had been blocking out for so long; she opened up her heart and her mind to him. She reached out, desperate for answers.

_Please don’t do this._

Her cries were not unheard. She could almost feel him listening, it was almost like watching someone open a letter. She felt anger, rage, determination; all radiating from him. There was no response. She wasn’t even sure if he could respond. She’d never fully been able to control it before. She knew he wasn’t going to stop.

And she knew he was angry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a pretty short chapter! I've been so busy with work and the holidays. I want to really focus and make sure I have a direction for the next chapter or two, so they might be out later. Thank you to everyone who has read and given kudos. <3


	6. Chapter 6

The First Order fleet had landed. Resistance fighters sat in defensive positions, guns out.

“Let’s take as many of these bastards down as we can.” Poe shouted, running towards the front line. His face was lit with determination. “They outnumber us, but we can out fight them. We’re cornered, so we’re dangerous. They can’t come at us from behind, we’re blockaded in. No running, no being ambushed.”

Rey hesitated, in spite of herself. She should be more confident, more in tune with what’s going on and intuitive about where she is needed. If only Luke’s lightsaber wasn’t broken. She could do a lot more damage with that than with a blaster or her staff.

I’ll still prove deadly. She thought. “Poe!” He swiveled to look at her. “Where do you want me?”

“We need you in case our pal Kylo comes out!”

“I don’t have a lightsaber!”

He smiled. “I’ve seen what you can do. Lightsaber or not, you’re our best chance if that freak comes out at us.”

Rey returned his smile briefly before he ran into a position with the front lines. She scanned them, feeling a cold sensation clutch at her body. There weren’t many Resistance fighters left. Sure, there were pockets of them scattered throughout the galaxy, but they couldn’t come to their aid this quickly. Even if a distress beacon had been sent, it would still be too late.

She took a deep breath and closed her eyes, pulling towards the back of the line back into the base, feeling for Kylo.

“Looking for me?” She swept her body around, hearing his deep voice. No one was there. Shit. Was he in her mind?

_Focus, Rey._ She told herself _. You’re not helpless. You’re not weak. You have risen up to meet him before. Don’t let him win._

She grabbed her staff and held it, her fingers squeezing the smooth material a bit too tightly. A blaster hung at her side, giving her a bit of reassurance. She heard shouting coming from all over, surrounding her with the pain and blood of a one sided battle.

_Trust the Force._ She thought. She exhaled and closed her eyes, clearing her thoughts of the battle, of the Resistance and of Kylo…

That’s when she felt it. Power surged through her fingers. She felt the feeling with a sense of wonder; it was so familiar and so terrifying. And yet, in that terror, it held a reassurance. She felt someone approaching her before she heard the crunch of their feet, the shouting from the fighting. The anger, the animosity hung over their auras and she knew the First Order troops had arrived. Two headed for her, holding their blasters high.

Shit. They had already penetrated the front line. But they would not get past her without a fight.

Rey opened her eyes and lunged forward, barely missing the hot beam of a blaster, ducking under another one with such grace you’d think it was rehearsed. She kept close to the ground and ran straight into the two Storm Troopers, knocking them off balance. Her quick attack had caught them off guard, and she spun around, whacking one in the head with her staff. She slid back and held her hand out, feeling the air, feeling the Force around her. She threw a boulder at the other Storm Trooper, easily crushing his head and knocking him back. He wouldn’t be getting back up.

She drew her blaster and shot the other Storm Trooper at close range, breaking her armor and revealing a shock of blonde hair underneath that cold white and black helmet. Rey remembered, just for a moment, that these Storm troopers were real people behind these masks. Just like Finn used to be.

Screaming rose up behind her and Rey spun around, running back towards the noise. There were troops everywhere. The Resistance wouldn’t have a chance if something didn’t give. She held her staff and her newly acquired blaster and started running towards the fight. Out of nowhere, she saw Kylo Ren and her heart stopped.

He had his fiery, crude lightsaber out, deflecting any blasts from Resistance fighters, using the Force Pull to throw them off their feet and back. His strength in the Force was apparent. Even slamming the Storm Trooper with a single boulder had drained a chunk of energy out of her. She slid behind a rock, trying to take in the situation before simply rushing in.

_They were losing_ , Rey realized, with a pang in her heart. She remembered, very vividly, when Leia was speaking about the Resistance. When Poe spoke out. The Resistance had to continue. It could not die. It was a spark that would light the fire under the First Order. They could not fall here.

Rey wasn’t thinking logically, but she tried to slow down her thoughts to gather them. She had to do something, here and now. She was panting, exhausted from the sheer stress of it all, but she would not let her body- or her mind- fail. The Resistance was being pushed back. She watched Kylo’s lightsaber go through the chest of a young fighter. Blood started spilling out as he gutted her, pulling his lightsaber up through her shoulder. The girl’s eyes went dim as she fell to her knees and then to the ground without making a sound.

Rey stood up suddenly, putting herself in full view of them all- specifically Kylo.

“Ben!” She shouted, hearing the desperation in her own voice. Every First Order soldier, including Kylo, turned to face her, weapons drawn. Rey held her hands up, blaster and staff included, and looked him straight in the eye. His scar was vivid across his pale face. It was the same as when she saw him last; distressed, angry. His features, which she could consider handsome, were clouded by his darkness. Her heart was pounding out of her chest, making it feel tight. Every muscle in her body was tense.

But Kylo held his hand up, and they held their fire, focusing more on her than on the Resistance. She closed her eyes for a moment, focusing on Leia. She guarded her thoughts from Kylo, desperately hoping her words would be for Leia and Leia only.

_Run.Escape._

She opened her eyes and looked at Kylo again. That dark cloud was over him and she couldn’t read him. For a moment she was convinced he would slaughter her, yet he didn’t. He took a step towards her. “Drop your weapons.” He said. His voice was direct and simple, giving nothing away. His eyes dug into her, searing with intensity and an emotion she couldn’t quite read.

Rey nodded, and opened her hands, letting her weapons fall to her side. She spoke again. “Take me. The Resistance is in tatters. No one came to help.” Her voice was pleading, full of sadness. “I’m the one who matters to you. The one who could hurt the First Order. Leave them; I’ll come willingly.”

She tried to think of nothingness as she spoke, hiding her emotions the best she could. She was lying, of course. The Resistance mattered. The Resistance is what would bring hope; what would destroy the First Order. She _felt_ it. They needed to escape, not her. Kylo would know better than to trust her, so she’d either be killed or taken prisoner. She wasn’t sure which one would be worse.

Kylo regarded her longer than he should have. He didn’t lower his lightsaber. Keeping his game face on, he took a step forward. He wanted to hurt her and she knew it. He didn’t hide this emotion from her. In an uncharacteristically quiet voice, he said something to his troops, who surrounded her. She felt a hard kick to her back, feeling a cracking sensation, and fell to her knees.

_Crack._ Another hard blow hit her in the back of the head, making it explode with bright lights and pain. Her vision blurred as she fell onto all fours, feeling jagged rocks on top of the smooth floor dig into her palms. She was panting as her eyes began to water due to the hit, but she would not let herself fall. The back of her head felt warm. That warmth was spreading down the sides of her neck, dripping crimson onto the ground around her. Pushing past the pain, she looked up. Kylo was standing over her, lightsaber blazing. She felt the warmth get closer and closer to her face.

_So this is how it ends._

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Spoiler alert: This isn't how it ends. ^.^


	7. Chapter 7

Kylo looked at Rey’s face. It was so strange to see her in person after all of these months of seeing flashes and memories of her. She had been his obsession since he met her, the fuel that added to the fire of his rage, his passion. He hated what she brought out in him. Even in this moment, he admired her strength. She lifted her head up as he put his lightsaber near her face, threatening to destroy her beauty. She met his eyes and did not falter.

He was contemplating her actions; the way she jumped out to redirect their attention. He wasn’t stupid; he knew she was trying to buy time to help her friends escape. He had set out, intent to take them, to destroy them. Especially his mother. But there was a ring of truth to her frantic words; what threat was the Resistance? No one dared to support them. No one would stand up to the First Order, and anybody who tried would be crushed. The smarter move would have been for her to leave, train and rise up as a Jedi.

But who would she train with? She was completely alone. There were no Jedi to help her, to guide her.

No one but him.

She had said she would come willingly. That did not mean she would join him. That thought sent an uncomfortable emotion through him, a weakness he despised. The memory pushed its way into his mind; him holding his hand out, him pleading with her.

_“Please.”_ He had said, desperate and lonely. He didn’t want to rule alone, or to be alone anymore . The electricity, the bond he had felt to her had been too much.  He had never felt connected to anyone before; not when he was training, not to Luke, not to Snoke, not to his parents…

It almost physically hurt when she reached for the lightsaber instead, when she rejected him. He had pleaded with her like a child.

Perhaps he could use her loneliness to his advantage. She was frantically seeking companionship, looking for a friend in every pair of eyes, in every soul she encountered. Even if he wasn’t bonded to her- hell, even if he had no awareness of the Force- he would sense her isolation. Her soul, her very being ached. Her eyes were so strong but he saw vivid sadness in them. His heart matched hers; even now seeing her in pain did not please him like it should have. It tore into him; this emotion which caused him conflict. He hated her, but he didn’t. He wanted to end her, to tear her into pieces so she wouldn’t exist to him anymore. He could continue on without her invading his mind. But he felt something when he looked at her, in those moments when they connected. She had penetrated him somehow; gotten under his skin. Yes, he could take her and destroy the Resistance- destroy her support.

She would have nothing again.

Nothing but him.

He felt excitement, thinking about the power they would have together. The entire galaxy would be theirs with no competition. Who would be able to stand against them? They could destroy the past together. He would reshape everything, bring new meaning and purpose and destroy any uprisings with her by his side.

And in his arms.

This thought was the concluding one for him. The image he had tried to push from his mind- the one of him and her. It invaded him, penetrated his dreams and took over his thoughts. “Take her.” He said, switching off his lightsaber. The Stormtroopers cuffed her hands behind her back, yanking her up roughly by her wrists. He felt that uncomfortable, shifting feeling again. A weakness ran through his mind- did he really need the galaxy if he had her instead? He shook that thought from his head, like he had done a hundred times, like he would do a hundred more.

He looked around, contemplating his next move. He tried to think logically, without any added emotion. There were bodies all around him. A few dead First Order troops were scattered around, but they were mostly Resistance fighters and supporters. Their numbers were few, but this couldn’t be all of them. That traitorous Storm Trooper was gone, as was Leia and that jackass pilot he had captured. Everyone else was faceless to him. He searched his feelings and could not feel his mother- Leia- near him. He was disturbed as he realized he could not feel her death either. He wasn’t sure he wanted her to die, but he needed her to.

“Get back to the ships. Bomb the area to weed out any Resistance fighters that remain.” He said promptly, turning towards his ship as Rey was dragged behind him.

“But sir, didn’t you want to take them prisoner? To make an example out of those who opposed us?”

Kylo shot a look of pure annoyance and contempt to the fool who spoke out. A soldier; a nobody.

“We have what we need. We accomplished what we came for.” He walked away quickly, shutting down any sort of acknowledgement of his sudden change of heart. He needed to put on a show for them so they didn’t mistake him letting Rey live for weakness.

Two shots and shouting jolted him out of his head and he turned around, cursing himself for being so absorbed with his thoughts about this girl that he hadn’t sensed the two men who chased after the boarding troops.

“For the Resistance!” One shouted, throwing a likely improvised bomb in their direction. With a wave of his hand, Kylo swept it back towards them, blowing up in one’s face. A messy explosion, a fiery mix of red liquid and yellow flames, appeared and vanished as quickly as it started. He walked towards the mess as the other fighter shot at him. It was pointless, but amusing, as Kylo blocked every shot with his lightsaber.

“Pathetic.” He said, loudly enough for all to hear. The Resistance fighter was on his back, crawling away from him. Kylo glanced briefly back towards where Rey was being dragged off to see that she had been loaded on board. He turned his attention back towards the soldier, who was panting but furious.

“Was it worth the stupidity?” Kylo mocked, moving towards the helpless soldier. He saw now that there was a stump where the man’s hand was- he must have been too close to the explosion. What a fool.

The man spit at Kylo. “You think I’m scared of a child throwing a temper tantrum?” The man exploded, looking him dead in the eye. “I just wish my death would be dignified and not at the hands of a _boy_.”

Rage started bubbling through Kylo as he was dead silent for a moment. All sound ceased around them. He could feel the fire flowing through his veins, heating every single tendon, every muscle of his body. His dark eyes were livid, like living pools of black lava.

His body was practically shaking as he raised his hand towards the man, using the Force to squeeze. The soldier started choking as Kylo approached him, lightsaber lit. With ease, Kylo ran the lightsaber over the soldier’s ankle, separating his foot from his body. Blood sprayed out as he released the choke hold, allowing the man to scream. Kylo sliced through the other foot, watching as it slid through, like a knife through warm butter, so easy to dip it through flesh. The screaming was frantic and everyone was dead quiet, watching. It was unusual to see a soldier butchered so brutally, even the worst enemy. Death was a necessity, torture was to get information, not simply for the sake of torture. Kylo watched him for a minute, letting him scream, before ramming the lightsaber into his chest.

Everyone stayed silent, covered in a more intense fear of their Supreme Leader. This was the point, obviously. He would get the respect he deserved, one way or the other. He thought, with a smile coming to his face, about how easy it was to forget about Rey during an act of pure violence.


	8. Chapter 8

Rey woke up in a haze, forgetting where she was. For a blissful moment she thought she might be in her quarters. A blanket of grey was clouding her vision and she groaned, feeling her head pounding. She reached up to rub the back of it but froze.

Her hands and feet were restrained. Panic started to fill her veins as she tried to piece together where she was. Memories of the defeat of the Resistance began to flood her mind, causing despair to ripple through her, from her heart to her fingers.

_Breathe._

_Focus._

She closed her eyes and attempted to steady her breath. She couldn’t lose herself to this fear, this despair. Not yet. She searched through the threads of the Force, looking for Leia. She found that she couldn’t sense others who weren’t in tune with the Force as well. If Leia was alive, hope was alive. Curiously, she found nothing. She didn’t sense Leia’s life force, but she also did not sense Leia’s death.

Her eyes fluttered open as her eyesight slowly started returning. Now was not the time to start panicking. In her emotional state, with her exhaustion, she couldn’t feel the Force as much. It was there, she just had to use it.

She was cuffed down to a device that was similar to the one she had been tortured in before. The memory sent a shiver down her spine. She looked around. No guards. No one for her to attempt to manipulate. Her hands and feet wiggled, trying to break loose, but she was unsuccessful. She sighed and relaxed her head and her body. No point in wasting strength without a goal. She was hungry and thirsty and, despite her involuntary nap, exhausted.  

Minutes turned to hours as she laid there, getting antsy and anxious. She remembered her loneliness among her friends back at the base and her heart hurt almost worse than before. She longed to be among them again, in their company. Her eyes filled with hot tears as she realized she probably wouldn’t see them again. Enough of that. She knows she needs to be strong. Even if this is her fate, her end, she needs to meet it with her head held high.

She was dozing off, her eyelids becoming heavy blankets over her eyes, when footsteps started trickling into her ears. Her eyes shot open as the door to her cell slid open. She didn’t have to spend long wondering who was behind that door. His entire presence was a dark blanket that overtook her. Kylo Ren approached her, getting uncomfortably close to her restrained body, his eyes flickering over it. She remembered, briefly, when he first kidnapped her. Right before he tortured her, his eyes had flickered the same way.

_“You know I can take anything I want.”_ That’s what he had said to her, with words so simple, so menacing, that it had filled her with utter terror. His eyes, which were focused on her face, had flickered down to her body.

He could sense her emotions; the chaos, the fear, the conflict between hope and despair. He was studying her, not speaking, not giving her the courtesy of an explanation of her fate which was so fragile in her hands. Rey was strong with the Force, but that strength could not help her in this moment.

He finally spoke. “We had to put a different kind of restraint on you. One that most of our guards don’t have access to. The ones who do have been put through various tests; their minds are not as weak as some of my comrades.”

“And who are you to comment on a weak mind?” She spit out. “When I look at you now I only see a coward, a weak, frightened child!”

His hand shot up and he grabbed the side of her face roughly, squeezing it painfully. He forced her head up so they were eye to eye and leaned in closely. “I’m not the child here.” He said quietly. He let go and took a step back, as if he were seeing her for the first time.

It took a minute for him to speak again. Rey sat, tense and quiet, unsure of her fate. She didn’t want to look at him, but she had to. She had to be strong. But if she looked at him, even though she felt his rage, even though she was strapped down and at his mercy, she was terrified she would see the eyes of Ben Solo and she would fall apart.

“You’ll be pleased to know your distraction worked. Two of our ships are missing. In the confusion they must have been stolen by your Resistance friends. But it doesn’t matter.” He leaned in again. “Two ships of people- some of which aren’t even fighters- against the First Order. Your battle is lost. You are loyal to a ghost of a rebellion.”

“Better loyal to a ghost than to the First Order. To you.” She said, although much more quietly.

“I could have helped you.” He said, his eyes blazing. “You could have joined me. I would have given you everything.”

Rey had nothing to say to that.

“You won’t join me.” He continued. “So you’re of no use to me.”

“You need me.” She said, looking up into his face. He remained stoic, trying to not betray his emotion.

“What makes you think that?”

She regarded his messy black hair, his calm face and demeanor. “Snoke never wanted you to be completely drawn to the dark, remember? There is power in balance. The dark and the light together can be more powerful than one or the other.” She hesitated and then continued “So you need me. I can still help you.” A hot tear fell down her cheek, despite her best efforts to keep them in. “I… I’ll never be a Jedi. I know that I have too much emotion. I can’t sooth my anger or my passion. But I also can’t give into it. Neither can you. Not completely.”

He raised his hand up to her face again, causing her to flinch, but his fingers were gentle this time. She sensed his rage subsiding, another curious emotion rising up that she couldn’t quite place. He was trying to hide from her, but he wasn’t completely shielding himself. In that moment, Rey let go of her fear, at least for the moment. She shut her eyes, feeling the gloved fingers against her flesh. She should have felt afraid, but she felt completely calm.

To her surprise, warm, soft lips pressed against hers. She hesitated for a moment and then gave in to the kiss. She felt something warm, electric, indescribable, run up and down her body. The tips of her fingers, the tips of her toes, and everything in between felt charged, stirring up something inside of her. She had been guarding her heart from this desire.

For a moment, she wasn’t a prisoner, potentially facing her death. Her loneliness did not define her, and her soul did not feel lost. For this moment, she felt the peace she had craved, the peace even the most glorified Jedi had not been able to achieve.

For a moment, she tasted Ben Solo, not death, upon her lips.


	9. Chapter 9

_What was I thinking?_  Kylo’s brain was screaming at him as he paced furiously around his quarters. He slammed his modest tables over, knocking things around and off of shelves in typical Kylo fashion.  For years he had an inner turmoil boiling inside of him. Even as a child he felt the conflict. He couldn’t balance himself. He was up and down, back and forth, never complacent. At times, it was worse than others and seemed to grow more intense as he grew up. But this issue with Rey was entirely different.

He had to pull away from her as he sensed an officer walking in with information on the Resistance. In truth, he was surprised at Rey’s reaction. She was restrained, a prisoner, and yet she had not only allowed it without protesting _, but had kissed him back_. Not only that, but the rage inside of her had almost completely faded for those few moments. She had no resentment when she had returned the kiss. She was complacent, happy. He could sense those feelings so strongly they might have been his own.

Perhaps they were.

As he pulled back and turned to face the door directly before the Captain had walked in, Rey kept her eyes trained on him. There was a thoughtful, confused expression on her face. Kylo couldn’t blame her for her confusion. This wasn’t what he had planned. None of it was. An odd instinct had overcome him as he looked at her, heard her words. He felt the sting of the truth ringing through every word that came out of her mouth.

He had kissed people before; this certainly wasn’t the first. But it had never been so intense; so right. He almost thought he lost any of those urges in recent years. Anything that might lead to love was a weakness, a distraction. His rage overtook every other aspect of his life, and he saw other creatures as disposable objects rather than partners. But she was so much more than anything he had. He thought about her more than he thought about ruling. Her lips were so soft, so much softer than he expected. With her harsh words and lifestyle, he thought her lips would be just as harsh, despite their appearance. But what he felt in her kiss was something so much more gentle than he had ever seen in her.

What would he do now? He stopped pacing, thoughtfully staring out of his window into the endless galaxy that was staring back at him. He had two roads; two paths. The expected path would be to simply kill Rey. She was obviously a distraction, and she was obviously dangerous. Yes, she could be valuable. Her raw power was insane, as was her odd connection with the Force. She was a quick learner and a strong fighter. If her loyalty could be assured, none would oppose them. His lips curled, ever so slightly, into a smile as he imagined her ruling. Her fierceness, her beauty and her power would be the thing of legends.

Snoke had, in the past, spoken about Kylo being a perfect combination of light and dark. But he had stopped preaching those ideals, he had pushed Kylo closer to the dark, to loyalty. Kylo couldn’t help but to wonder if that was simply self preservation. If Kylo could achieve what the Jedi knights had failed to do, achieve that balance, he would become more powerful than any of them. He would even become more powerful than Darth Vader. The last thought sent a shiver of pleasure through his spine. But could she be trusted? He had trusted her before, let her get close to him. Not Snoke, not his friends, not even his parents could accomplish what she had done in such a short amount of time- she had invaded his mind, connected with him. And at the most crucial moment she had rejected him! His hand curled into a fist.

 _Use your anger._ He told himself. _Get angry. Destroy her before you take it further. Or she rejects you more._

This last thought makes him feel like a child, an angsty child who had been rejected by a crush. But he can’t help it from sliding into his mind and rolling around in there, coating every layer of his mind with images of her, of them.  What could he do to reassure that she wouldn’t turn against him?

All of these thoughts were overwhelming to him, keeping him in constant distress. He tried to convince himself that his reasoning for keeping her alive would be to use her as a tool. Those thoughts weren’t convincing; the images of them together, the memories of them, connected by the Force, kept coming in. The image of their hands touching, the electric moment between them, was almost overpowering. He felt something in his heart he had never felt before.

He finally collapsed onto his bed, running his fingers through his hair. He fell asleep, slowly slipping into a different world; one that was filled with nothing but him and Rey. No First Order, no Resistance, no Jedi… just him getting lost in the hazel pools of Rey’s eyes.


	10. Chapter 10

 

_Rey awoke in a very different place, but she felt no fear. She looked around, taking in every aspect of her new environment. Lush green surrounded her and a pleasant, fresh scent overtook her. The grass was an emerald blanket across the landscape, not harsh, but soft and enticing. Trees were sparse but large and majestic, each with a life and story of its own. Rey exhaled and closed her eyes, taking in this place of peace. She tilted her head up and opened her eyes slowly, in no rush. She wanted to take everything in. Her eyes focused on the sky above her. It was a rich, beautiful blue, ethereal and out of a dream. There were no clouds. She blinked, realizing she couldn’t pinpoint any suns, any real sources of light. Rather, the landscape itself was lit._

_She should have been confused, but she felt oddly at home here. Everything was bright and soft, a stark contrast to her everyday life since she could remember._

_“Where are we?” A voice echoed behind her. She didn’t turn around. She wasn’t threatened, she knew he was here too. Ben Solo stepped beside her, head tilted towards the sky._

_“I don’t know.” Rey confessed, turning her head to face him, to study him. It felt like forever since they had truly connected, and those moments were so fleeting. “I think we’re in a dream.” She turned back and stared into the horizon with him._

_He didn’t say a word, didn’t turn to face her. She didn’t feel anything from him- she felt everything. She couldn’t sort through the information she was receiving from him. He was beside her, yet all around her, inside her, swirling around. This was a place of freedom, one that wouldn’t last. She reached her hand to his, curled her fingers inside of his loose hand. He tightened his grip gently, holding her hand in his._

_She felt peace, but there was something underneath it. This place would not last, neither would this peace. She turned to face him, and looked down at her. He put his arms around her, pulling her into him. She rested her head in his chest, letting herself melt into his arms; allowing herself to be completely vulnerable. She felt him kiss the top of her head in an uncharacteristically gentle fashion._

_“I wish I could stay here.” She said._

_“We can’t.” He replied simply, gently. His voice wasn’t harsh; there was no cruelty in the words. Just the factual tone of someone who knew what he was holding would slip away. “This isn’t real.”_

_“Are we dreaming?”_

_“Maybe.” He responded. “I don’t feel anything here.”_

_“You feel something.” She said, pulling away slightly. “It’s just that you aren’t holding onto your anger. You’ve let go of it. You’re not used to that.”_

_He looked down at her, holding the back of her head gently. Her eyes were so bright, so hopeful. Her eyes were looking straight into him and he felt something strong rise up from his heart. He sighed. “When we wake up, this will be gone. You’ll be my prisoner.”_

_“I don’t have to be your prisoner.”_

_He laughed at that. “What do you want me to do? Let you go?” The world was starting to get a bit darker, the sky tinged ever so slightly with the color of blood. “You want to destroy everything I’ve built. But you don’t have to. You’re filling a role you weren’t meant to fill. Walking down a road, a path, meant for someone else.” He put his finger under her chin, tilting her head up so he could look her dead in the eye. “We don’t have to come back into the world as enemies. You can still join me.”_

_Her eyes were watery, threatening to overflow but she held her composure. “You know I can’t do that.” She responded, with that familiar fire he had grown used to. The peace had been invaded by pain, the sort of physical pain that starts in your heart and travels through your body, infecting every joint, bone and piece of flesh with it. She took a step away from him. “I cannot follow you down your path.”_

_The peace she had felt was slowly fading away, ebbing away from them. She could almost physically see it leave, and she felt that familiar, devastating anger start to seep into this place._

_“You are not meant to be a Jedi. You know this. I can still teach you. I can help you. And you’re right, you can help me.” He said, shouting. The green grass was turning an odd, dark color- one that was difficult to place. Grey? Black? By now the sky was dipped in red, becoming dusky with a violet color. The peace was broken, the dream transformed. He looked around him, taking it in, before looking to her. “Please.” He said again, hating the way it sounded. “I’m begging you to join me. To be with me.” He took a step towards her, wrapping himself around her, pulling him close to him. She made a sobbing noise as she gripped him, not sure whether to keep holding on or to let him go. “Please.” He said again._

_“I want to be with you. I feel complete when I’m with you.” She said, her strong voice cracking. “But I can’t if this is the path you’re taking us down.” She looked up, the tears overflowing. “Leave with me. Free me. Free yourself and we’ll leave the First Order. Because I can’t compromise with you on this.”_

_He grabbed her, wrapping his fingers around her face roughly and kissed her. The passion of it almost overtook her as he pushed her back, roughly holding her so tight she thought she would bruise if this were in the physical realm. She felt a warmth sweep through her, she felt herself get wet and she felt her heart get weak. She returned the kiss, frantic and passionate, dragging her fingers down his back as he dug his into her flesh. He pushed her away so roughly she almost lost her balance._

_“When you see me again, we will be enemies.” He said, and then the world fell apart._

Rey’s eyes shot open and she looked around. She was in a different cell, no longer restrained but locked in a very small room. How did they manage to move her? She must have been completely out of it. She ran her fingers through the room, feeling the smooth edges and corners, feeling completely hopeless. She sat down. Death would almost be better than this.

What about that dream? Was it truly real? Was he there with her? She reflected on the initial peace of it, until he had ruined it. They had both ruined it, with their anger, their fire. Rey put her head in her hands, and for the first time she truly let go, let the tears flow out. For this moment, she didn’t care about the perception of her being weak, about her showing vulnerability. They were so close. He was so close. He was Ben Solo, not Kylo Ren, for a few moments. She ached for his kiss, for his affection. But he had darkness all around him towards the end of the dream.  They both kept going back and forth, ebbing and flowing like a tide towards and away from each other, each creeping out and barely touching the surface of the other. This wouldn’t last; he wouldn’t allow it. He was right, they were enemies, and he would destroy her.

A noise behind her door startled her, making her snap out of her head.

“Rey?”

She stood up, almost leaping into the door, putting her face against it. Was it Kylo? No, the voice was different, not familiar. “Who are you?” she inquired, sweating against the cold door, trying to hear.

“I can’t tell you that, in case Kylo senses this. Be patient. We will get you out.”

Rey was still, breathless. Her mind was racing. Was there still hope? Could she get away? Her heart was fluttering, beating so quickly she thought it would kill her. “Are you with the Resistance?” She asked.

The voice spoke again. “No. Not necessarily.” It paused before beginning again.

“FN-2187 is not the only one who doesn’t want to fight for the First Order anymore.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kind of a weird one. I'm going to be starting school again soon, so I'll try to continue to be consistent but it might take longer for chapters to get out.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is going to be another short chapter! To those who have been following I'm so sorry for the delay! I'm in school full time AND I came down with a double ear infection and a sinus infection. x.x  
> I have to fine tune the next chapter, which will be longer, but sorry for the delay!

Rey sat impatiently in her cell. It had been some time since that sliver of hope had slid into her life in the form of a First Order officer. They gave her limited information just in case Kylo probed her mind, but hadn’t come back much since. She sighed, hanging her head down. It’s an odd feeling, being infatuated with someone who could kill you at any moment.

Solitary confinement wasn’t pleasant at all, but it wasn’t enough to break Rey. She’d been alone her entire life, sometimes literally, mostly just on an emotional level. The boredom is what could have killed her. If it wasn’t for the food and water they occasionally brought her, she would have almost thought they forgot she was there. No interrogations, no Kylo, no Hux- the only people who spoke to her were the same hushed voices. Asking her about the Resistance- not classified information, which she would have anyway. Just about them potentially accepting them, their plans, and about her faith in them. One short visit would keep her wondering about them for hours. What if they were a cruel ploy to give her false hope? Some sort of trap devised by Kylo. Her mind went in circles until it felt like it wouldn’t function. Her energy levels were shot, though she did try to stay in shape. Physical activity kept her busy, kept her a bit more challenged. She was able to meditate, to try to build power within the Force.

Her heart would sink, though, if she thought about her friends. She ached to be back with the Resistance, with them. Since Kylo hadn’t shown up to mock her, torture her, or anything else, she had no information on them. She sighed, not knowing if they were pursuing the Resistance forces now or if they were on some other unknown mission.

Rey’s eyes opened as a wave of calm came through her. She had been anxious and on edge for hours, but it was slowly subsiding for reasons she couldn’t quite place. She sat up a bit straighter, arching her back to look curiously at the door as it opened.

 

 

\--

 

Kylo was on edge, tense, dark and dangerous as he paced through the narrow, dark halls, slick with metal, cold and advanced. His footsteps echoed through the hallways, even though there was distinct chatter, sounds of war and death as they raged on towards a planet which supported the Resistance.

They had learned of it by chance. They had intercepted some ships from Agartha, a small, blue planet with clumps of diverse civilization. The ships were inconspicuous at first, carrying regulated cargo to an approved planet. However, Kylo had gotten a flash of their minds before pulling them in. Their planet was secretly providing strong support, including troops and supplies, to the Resistance. They had been quiet about it, only having a few people go at a time as to divert any suspicions away from them. Now that the Resistance had been almost wiped out, they had offered more direct support. Kylo saw this, reading into their minds, burning himself into their brains before executing every single traitorous creature on the cargo ship.

He was grateful for the distraction. It meant he didn’t have to go see Rey, to deal with her. Pressure was mounting on him to make a decision about her. Others had opinions, but they did not matter to him. He was Supreme leader now and he was angry, violent and unbalanced. They would be fools to oppose him.

But he couldn’t make a decision. He didn’t send anyone to torture her, he didn’t try to sway her to his way and he didn’t have her executed. He was stagnant; stuck. Disposing the Resistance- his mother included- would be a relief to him.

“Supreme Leader.” A voice interrupted his thoughts and he turned to face the intruder. General Hux stood, straight as an arrow with an angry, smug expression on his face. “What?” Kylo snapped, unwilling to be pulled too far from his own thoughts.

“The scavenger has escaped her cell.” His lips curled into a faint smile. “Isn’t this the second time this has happened under your watch?”


	12. Chapter 12

A door sprang open as Rey stepped through, every muscle in her lean body tensed, every thought racing. The calm was nice, but it had been fleeting as adrenaline took over. The faces around her looked grim, tense. She didn’t recognize anyone, but why would she? Some were in helmets, some were in First Order uniforms. There were only 4, she had realized, her heart sinking. Now she walked, confused and apprehensive. They had come in the room, cool as ice, telling her she was going to be executed without a trail for her crimes against the First Order. They put her in restraints and walked her away from her cell.

But could they be trusted? Hell, were they the ones who said they would help her or are they First Order loyalists? She didn’t have a date or an inkling of a plan. They had given her no information.

For all she knew, she was being marched to her death.

However, that feeling of calm she had right before they came in her cell… she felt like they truly were her way out. She was surprised to feel that they guarded their thoughts well. She tried to focus on the present, but on their minds, but she did try to probe a bit, if only to satisfy her own anxiety.

She had already decided that if she was wrong- if they were Loyalists- she would fight to the end. No one would execute her passively. She swallowed as they walked through the cold halls, steel doors and even steelier glares facing her.

“Where are you taking the prisoner?” A First Order soldier stepped in from of them strictly. He had an old, wrinkled face which probably looked older than he was. His mouth was a thin line, brow permanently furrowed.

“Execution, sir.” One of her captors answered almost lazily. “She’s been taking up too many resources and has no valuable information. We shouldn’t have expected a scavenger to be all that bright, in my opinion.”

Everyone around her laughed as Rey’s cheek’s flushed with rage and humiliation. Fuck. _Was I wrong about these captors?_ She wondered, her fists tightening. Even the grim officer cracked a smile with those thin, chapped lips of his. It would be so satisfying to punch that smug look off of his face. She felt something hit the back of her head and she cried out, trying to raise her restrained hands to cup her head protectively. Someone grabbed her hair, pulling her head back. “Scavenger scum!” The voice shouted from behind. The laughter got louder as she was shoved forward, falling to the floor. She hit hard, unable to catch herself with her hands clasped together. Above her, she felt a sizzling head and heard the noise of a blaster going off.

Footsteps echoed around her as her captors rushed to grab the fallen officer, grabbing what appeared to be a keycard and his weapon. One pulled out a knife and stabbed through his wrist, sawing away at his hand as blood pooled around it. Someone pulled her up, undoing her restraints.

“Sorry.” The man said reluctantly. “We needed someone with access to the escape pods.”

“Escape pods?” Rey said, her voice rising. “Escape pods?! How are we supposed to-“

“Quiet!” He said, in a hushed voice. In an instant she recognized it when it was lowered; this was the man who first spoke to her through the door. “We have a ship primed and ready to go on the nearest moon. We’ll launch all of the escape pods, throw them off the track. We have someone waiting to scramble their tracking, making it hard to fire us down. The pods are quick and the moon is very near. The First Order considers it isolated and loyal, but it isn’t. Trust me, it won’t be the first place they look.”

Rey nodded, knowing better than to delay the situation with more questions. They handed her a blaster and her staff as she followed them into the next room.


	13. Chapter 13

Rey looked at both the staff and her blaster, hesitating as she tried to pick which one she would need. _It doesn’t matter,_ she thought _. Just go with your instincts_. She put the blaster away and picked up her pace, watching the First Order traitors use the severed hand to open a high clearance door. It plopped on the ground, a sloppy, bloody mess, as the door slid open and they slid in.

A grim, small group of First Order officers greeted them, making it obvious that they were there to help, not to fight. She felt a wave of relief ripple through her as she saw their numbers boosted. _Maybe we can actually do this._

Together they ran through the station, towards the escape pods. “They’re just in the room ahead.” The man leading them shouted.

The door slid open to the second row of pods, causing all of them to stop dead in their tracks. A large group of troopers stood in front, guns drawn. _Fuck._ She pulled her staff in front of her and got into a fighting position. She turned to her right, noting the fear on the faces of her companions. “We didn’t make it this far to just get shot down.” She shouted. The fear slid off, turning into anger. Blasters were raised, and the fight begun.

Rey rolled out of the way, sliding towards the stormtroopers. She swung her staff low, knocking one of them down, smashing it up into his armor with such force that it broke, causing him to cry out.  A blaster shot went over her shoulder, hitting him in the face. _If only she had a lightsaber._

The air was filled with the smell of blood and shouting as both sides shot at each other, with Rey ducking in between the fire, taking out storm troopers one by one. Her companions were more skilled than the average storm trooper, but they were heavily outnumbered.  Rey’s heart was sinking but she kept her stamina up. A group rushed up to her and she swung her hand out, using the Force to propel them backwards. She yelled and pushed forward as more First Order officers and fighters rolled into the room.

They were being overpowered, but not killed. She scanned the area for Kylo, her heart in her throat. No sign of him. Where was he? She didn’t think she’d be able to stand fighting him right now. She just… she couldn’t bear it.

They were being cornered, disarmed and ravaged. The First Order had their blasters set to stun, meaning they were going to be taken hostage; probably for interrogation. Except her, she had a sinking feeling this was it. But what about Kylo? She scanned her feelings, seeing if he was nearby…

A hand gripped her wrist, twisting it backwards making Rey cry out in pain. She looked up, seeing an amused face of an officer. Shit. How did she get so distracted? She was really rusty and being lazy about her fighting. He forced her down, a blaster in her face. She blinked, looking around at the defeated troops around her. Their faces were stoic, giving the First Order nothing.

The officer laughed as her hands were cuffed by Storm troopers. “Now now!” He said, a delighted expression spreading across his face. “Do we really need those? This little rat has given us enough trouble.” He leaned in close. His yellowing teeth were gleaming in her face as she felt all hope drain out of her. He grabbed her neck roughly, forcing her closer to him. “But you are a pretty young thing, aren’t you? It seems like a waste to just kill you quickly.” With a swift movement of his hand, he ripped the top of her shirt off for everyone to see. Rey’s blood ran cold and her eyes widened as she struggled to choke down anger and humiliation.

His eyes were looking over her, lustful and violent, but they suddenly widened out of fear. Rey saw a flash of red in front of her and a sizzling warmth as blood splashed across her face. Blasters were raised and shot and the First Order started yelling as Kylo stepped over Rey, pulling his blazing lightsaber out of the officer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It has been a long time since I've added anything! My life turned upside down last year and I'm just starting to get it back in order. I'm not done with this yet- I'll probably never be done with my obsession with Rey and Kylo! Thank you to anyone who is still reading. <3


	14. Chapter 14

Kylo had walked into the room, already sensing the turmoil.

Already sensing her.

He approached quietly initially, taking advantage of the chaos that spread around him. He focused on the officer, a nameless, meaningless face in the crowd. He had been following the traitors, one step behind them. _They couldn’t possibly be stupid enough to use escape pods instead of stealing a ship_. He had thought. But here they were.  He had tried to sense Rey, to sense her feelings, but was oddly cut out.

In truth, he was ready to let her die. In fact, he was ready to do it by his hand.

_Destroy her before she destroys you._

She had made her choice clear. She would not join him. They were not destined to be together. This thought caused a pain in his heart, one that rivaled other matters before. His indecision had been seen as weakness, though he tried to spin it as strategy. If he was going to be Supreme leader, he would have to be strong. She was a thorn in his side, one that kept getting twisted into his flesh.

It was time to pull the thorn out.

But as he approached the room he saw the nameless Officer, the one who was always just another face in the crowd, and his blood boiled. He saw the foolish man rip her clothing, saw the intentions in his mind. Kylo acted on pure instinct initially; she was his. Whatever her fate, whatever he decided to do, she was his.

As he cut the officer from his chest to his throat, a more disturbing sensation had bubbled up. It wasn’t simply pride that made him react like that. It wasn’t that she was his; it wasn’t the instinctual possessiveness that moved him to attack.

Pure and simple, just as it was in Snoke’s throne room, it was something deeper that moved him. He cared for her deeply.

He was hers.

Stormtroopers had started firing on him to no avail. Kylo grasped his lightsaber, easily blocking their shots. He pushed the front line back with the Force, advancing towards them.

“Traitor!” An enraged Stormtrooper shouted, pulling out her handheld weapon. Kylo glanced at her for a second before slicing straight through her arm, cutting off his weapon. He knew they’d all have to die. In all honesty, Kylo wasn’t sure what he was doing. At this moment in time, he didn’t know what side he was on, what he was fighting for or who he was fighting against. He was fighting for Rey, and nothing else.

It was easy for him to destroy the First Order troops. The traitors and Rey had taken out a handful and the First Order didn’t expect their Supreme leader to attack them. He shredded them apart, ripping through them quickly with his lightsaber. By the time he finished, he was splattered in blood, calm in shades of crimson.

He turned his lightsaber off, turning to face Rey, who had stood up. She and the First Order traitors watched Kylo carefully.


	15. Chapter 15

Rey stared at Kylo, not sure how to respond to what just happened. He stood, completely stoic, over a multitude of dead bodies; dead bodies that belonged to his troops. He turned to look at her, lost in a quiet contemplation, before turning to face the Resistance sympathizers. His lightsaber blazed out, deadly and menacing, as he regarded them. “Traitors!” he shouted, all the calmness from a moment ago fading. He lifted his lightsaber up as he approached them.

“No!” Rey shouted, sidestepping in front of them the best she could as they stood up, scrambling to grab blasters from the bodies around them.

“Move.” Kylo snarled, advancing towards Rey.

“No.” She said again, more calmly. Her heart was pounding as she looked up into his dark eyes. His eyes met her, unreadable. She tried to think, to keep her head calm, but she was a hot mess of emotions. What was Kylo playing at? She tried to cool the rage that was bubbling up, tried to swallow the heartache. He had just come in and slaughtered his own troops- for which she was grateful- but was turning to advance on the captives? He was mad at  _them_  for being traitors?

Rey tried not to think about the fact that he had kept _her_ captive, locked up for… fuck, she didn’t even know. He hadn’t checked on her, hadn’t made a decision, hadn’t reached out, hadn’t done anything. He just kept her caged, like a pet he had forgotten about.

It stung even more when she thought about that odd dream; the one that wasn’t quite a dream, wasn’t quite a force connection, but wasn’t quite reality. She thought about the kiss, about the comfort she took in his embrace; about them. She didn’t want to admit it, but in the back of her mind she thought maybe, just maybe he would come to her after that. She tasted something bitter in her mouth as that thought flashed through her.

And yet, despite her rage, a desperate yearning was washing through her as she looked at his face. She was angry, terrified but somehow relieved to be in his presence again.

In truth, Rey had no idea what to think or what to do. What was his motivation? When he walked into the room, she sensed him for the first time since the dream. She felt a sturdy determination, a brief resolution of conflict. That thought made her uneasy; she was sure he was coming to kill her.

But at the same time, the conflict had risen back up. He was still being torn apart, as was she. She kept seeing extremes in him. She’d see extreme darkness, with no light left in him.  She’d see a future where he joined her; one where he came to her side. At the same time, Kylo had claimed that he saw her coming to the darkness. That thought still scared her because she could feel it. The dark called to her. Could there truly be balance?

More importantly, could there be a balance between them? It’s strange what thoughts fly through your head when you’re faced with potential death. She knew Snoke  planted this connection, these visions in their minds. At least, he claimed he had. But how could those visions continue once he was gone? Was he lying?

But he couldn’t have planted all of it. He stoked these flames, but he didn’t start the spark. There was more to it, more to Kylo. Rey was sure of it.

Kylo and Rey both saw something in each other. They both had a vision. Whose was correct?

What Rey wasn’t sure of was if she would live long enough to find out.

All of this flashed through her head as she looked at him, his eyes now meeting hers. They gazed at each other and for a moment, it seemed as though they were the only two people in the room. Without thinking, she held up her hands, still cuffed. Without hesitation he swiftly removed them, looking past her to the Resistance sympathizers.

“Ben.”

He looked back down at her, meeting her gaze once again. She kept her chin up, her stance proud, holding her ground.

“Let them go.”

“And where would they go?”

“None of your concern.” She snapped before regaining her composure. The words tumbled out of her mouth before she could consider what she was saying. “Let them go and I’ll join you.” Rey felt a pang in her heart but at the same time felt a longing, something she felt she desperately needed.

Kylo stood very still, his eyes intense but giving nothing away.

She took another step towards him, standing only inches away from him. “Let them go,” she said, her voice lowered so only he could hear, “And I’m yours.”


End file.
